why I don’t have goals- alternative ways of finding success: part I
Yes, you read that right. I don’t have “goals.”
That doesn’t mean I don’t have things I want to do in my life, and if I explained them to you, you would tell me that they were goals. However, I decided not to classify these things as goals. And here’s why:
I read a book (and re-read three times) called “The End of Procrastination: How to Stop Postponing and Live A Fulfilled Life” by Petr Ludwig and it completely changed my way of thinking. In it, Ludwig explains how to stay motivated. If you haven’t heard about intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, here’s a little crash course on the topic:
Extrinsic motivation is when you are motivated to do something by rewards and punishments. For example, you may be motivated to work the extra shift so you can buy the newest Air Force 1’s. Or, you may be motivated to show up to class so you don’t drop a letter grade due to poor attendance.
Intrinsic motivation is when you are motivated to do something without reward or punishment solely because it will make you feel good to do it.
Many times, people propose the idea that the key to stay motivated is through intrinsic motivation, but more specifically, intrinsic goal-based motivation. You have probably heard that the key to success is to set goals. If you really know what you’re doing, you set “SMART goals.” S- specific, M- measurable, A- attainable, R- realistic, and T- timely (okay, maybe I did learn a few things in business school). And while yes, this method is effective in getting you what you want, it lacks one crucial factor: happiness.
As Petr Ludwig explains, if you have intrinsic goal-based motivation, your prefrontal cortex (oooooo sciencey!!) creates a goal by imagining future happiness. Let’s say this is your goal: I will make $X a year and save $Y so I can buy an Audi R8 by the time I am 29. It checks all the boxes for being a SMART goal. You write this down on a piece of paper and hang it on your fridge. As you write, you can feel the excitement as you picture yourself being handed the keys on your 29th birthday. You see this piece of paper every day and it motivates you to work hard and save your money. You work grueling hours and make sacrifices in your social life to reach this goal. The process is long and hard and there are times you think about giving up. Finally, the day comes where your paycheck comes in and you finally have enough for the R8. You walk into the dealership feeling on top of the world as you sign and drive off in your new car, staring at the four overlapping circles on the wheel. You did it. You are experiencing the emotion of joy, where there is a release of dopamine in the brain.
But now what?
A little devil named Hedonic Adaptation begins to kick in. After a few days, weeks, or months (if you’re lucky), your joy over your new car begins to fade. You aren’t feeling the same overwhelming sense of accomplishment you did when you drove it off the lot. So, you set an even larger goal. You work hard for that goal until you achieve it and so on. But let’s take a closer look at the process.
Step 1: you make a goal: feeling- excited, motivated
Step 2: you work towards that goal: feeling- unsatisfied that your are still lacking the thing you desire (your goal)
Step 3: you reach your goal: feeling- joy, dopamine is released for a brief amount of time
Step 4: you get used to your goal: feeling unsatisfied
Step 5: you make a new goal and restart the process
Now let’s take a look at the time frame of this process.
Step 1: a single moment
Step 2: days, weeks, months, years
Step 3: a moment, maybe days or weeks
Step 4: undefined until process is repeated
That’s a short amount of time feeling the emotion of joy thanks to hedonic adaptation.
Now let’s try the alternative: Intrinsic journey-based motivation:
Intrinsic journey-based motivation is what occurs when your actions reflect your “why.” Your day-to-day reflects your personal vision and the life you desire for yourself. To achieve this, you analyze your personal strengths and opportunities to discover meaningful activities to fill your day. This allows you to learn how to spend more time doing things that are both beneficial to you and beneficial to society, resulting in a fulfilling life.
Ludwig discusses setting “milestones” to ensure you are on the right path. These milestones may look like goals, but the difference is that a milestone is not the end. A goal is something you work to reach until you have achieved it. A milestone is used as feedback to ensure you are moving forward with your personal vision. The main advantage of intrinsic journey-based motivation is that there’s no room for hedonic adaptation to set in. As Petr Ludwig mentioned, “Since you have no goals to chase, you feel happier now.”
By completing meaningful activities, you are able to experience a state of flow. This state occurs when you are fully absorbed in what you are doing. I experience a state of flow every time I write a post. This assures me that I am doing a meaningful activity and working towards my personal vision. As opposed to feeling the emotion of joy when you reach a goal, a state of flow allows the release of dopamine to occur “over the long term” as Ludwig explains.
Part II will focus on how to create a personal vision.
Another way to think about “goals” in an alternative way is by creating a system.
I was introduced to this strategy by watching Rowena Tsai’s YouTube video titled “the one habit that is changing my life: set systems rather than goals.”
Similar to Ludwig’s concept of journey-based motivation, Tsai explains that “goals are hyper focused on the destination, while systems are embracing the journey.” The example she provides in her video is of having a clean room. She explains that if you have a messy room, you would make a goal to clean it. However, it will not stay clean because your habits of not putting things away haven’t changed.
“The outcome (or output) will always be the same because the system (or input) didn’t change. So, if we are able to fix the input, the output will fix themselves.” -Rowena Tsai
She explains how to build a system by:
Identifying what is essential
Choosing to invest in yourself
Actively making time for what is most important
Again, we will dive deeper into this in Part II.
For now, I challenge you to take time to reflect on what you want in life. Reflect on whether you are happy now, or waiting until you reach your goal to feel joy. Read The End of Procrastination. Download the audio or borrow the book from me if you’re a homie :) Oh look! What’s that? A link to the book? How convenient! (I should be getting paid for this...) Watch the YouTube video. CHALLENGE YOUR WAY OF THINKING ABOUT YOUR LIFE. That’s the only way you will grow.
And as always, let me know what you think!
Stay Stoked,
B